Saturday, 29 July 2017

How to recover the hope?

How to recover the hope?

Missionary, writer, life coach, motivational speaker and anti suicidal advocate

Who has not felt that hopes have vanished?

When our goals are not fulfilled, when we feel that we are not in the place we want to be, that the path we want is far away, we ask ourselves: How to recover hope?

At times, it seems that this one has left to not return and has been left to us. So what can we do to get what we want?

Recovering hope is not easy, so many people fall more and more into depressive states or continuous discouragement or even suicide.

"As long as the storm is, the sun always shines again in the clouds"
-Khalil Gibran-

You have two options before the despair
Faced with this situation of despair , you have two paths:

1- Sink , think negative, crush and think that you will never get what you want.

What will you get with this? Discouragement, self-destruction, stagnation and if the mind is not right, your body will not be well either. In addition, in a state of continuous discouragement we can become ill or commit suicide.

2- Accept the situation.  Instead of sinking with negative thoughts, you can  put all the focus on the solutions and steps you have to take to go deeper into the path you want. Reflect on whether what you are doing is enough or you have to change strategy.

What will you get with this? Hope, because hope only appears when we think we can get what we want, so if you are focused on finding solutions and getting started with new actions, you will be going in the direction that leads you to your goal.

Remember that when there is some frustration or problem, we tend to see things three times more negative than they are.

It is automatic, you will feel your situation from a less realistic view than if you were in a good emotional state, if you are aware of this you can stop it.

If your mood is not right, you are not in a good position to think in a realistic and efficient way.

But how can we regain hope ? Here are some points to think about:

Make sure you do not focus all your happiness on one side
Normally those who believe that their life is only worthwhile if they get something in particular, are the ones who risk the most to fall into discouragement.

In life there are many good things, the more open doors you have, the easier it will be for you to be motivated.

Imagine the difference between a person who has only one door open and another who has 20 open. The one that has only one, if one day closes will be left with nothing. However the one that has 20, although it is closed 4 or 5, has many more. The doors can be people, activities, hobbies, friendships, values, etc ...

To hold on to one thing is dangerous, because without it we feel unhappy. There are too many choices in life to cling to just one, open your mind and expand.

Make a list of the things you enjoy in your life and if they are scarce, increase your activities and discover new hobbies.

If you have few friends or are not satisfied with the ones you have, meet new people. Not even people are irreplaceable, there are always plenty of options and people of all kinds.

The typical thought of "I will never meet someone like that" is totally wrong, there are and there will be people who fit into your life.

When you've lost someone you've grown fond of, it's only natural that you'll never know someone else, but if you get started in an efficient way, you can discover people in the profile you like, even Better than you had known in the past .

The possibilities are endless, but always from the action, things rarely come alone.
The solution may be very close, inside you
How to recover the hope? With high doses of positivity. This would be the key point, I know it sounds cliché, but there is no other miracle remedy that can get it.

If your emotions are good you can be hopeful, the emotions are based on your thoughts, so the only way to improve your mood is through good thoughts.

You ask yourself: How can I stay positive if things go wrong and I'm far from what I want in my life?

Learn from what does not work, and instead of using thoughts like "I am a disaster", "has no solution", "I will never get anything", etc ... Use the mind to boost you instead of to sink you.

A good way would be to use our capabilities to find new ways and solutions, it is necessary not to sit still.

The difference between people who sink to the problems and those who take more strength to move on, is clearly in the way of thinking, in the center of their thoughts.

While there are lamentations, negativities and self-destruction, there is no place to go forward; instead, when the mind is busy searching for solutions to analyze what does not work and implement new strategies, you will take the path that will solve your problems.

Do not let anything stop you, remember that even the water that seems weak, drop by drop, ends up eroding a stone

Remain blessed!
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Saturday, 22 July 2017

How to Forget a Love..... Before committing suicide for love

How to Forget a Love..... Before committing suicide for love.

Missionary, writer, motivational speaker, life coach and anti- suicidal advocate

I do not know if this article can save lives, if it can be very controversial or if you simply ignore those people who have already decided to end their life.

In any case, I want to give my bit to those people who do not see the exit in any way.

Whether you have arrived at this article because you wanted to have more information about how to commit suicide for love or  you have been following my articles for a long time, I want you to keep in mind that whatever your decision, no one will judge you. You decide what to do with your life.

But before we reflect seriously on your case because that is mainly addressed in this article, let's reflect on the point where your perspective can come to reason, so you can think more clearly.

1- "Commit Suicide to show how much you loved him"

There is nothing more stupid than to think that. Love is not only that noble and beautiful feeling that you project towards other person (s), it is also what you project towards yourself.

Committing suicide in no way will be out of love. Since if you do not love yourself, you are not really loving anyone else. You are only feeling a sickly obsession or an uncontrollable attachment.

Awake! Do you want to leave this life without having known love, without having experienced how beautiful it is to be in love in an healthy way?

You say that love is rubbish and that life is not worth it, however you have not even lived the love nor have you enjoyed life to the full.

How can you judge something that you have never felt in your own flesh?

2- "He or she will realize how much he loved me"

He/she may at first feel a little guilty. He/she may cry at your funeral but after a couple of years, you will think you have made a very stupid decision.

To top it all, you commit suicide because of someone who will not cry enough. That person will then continue with his life, continue to have fun, continue to meet new people who are likely to be his new partner and will have many opportunities to move forward.

You will have disappeared from the face of the Earth and you will not be in anyone's mind after 10 years ... Unless you really left a mark ...

If so, then ... Why don't you give yourself a second GREAT OPPORTUNITY? Why don't you forget that person and start to leave a mark on this world? Why don't you propose to be an example of life here in a few years to inspire people who are in the same situation as you and decide to move on despite the problems of life?

3- "Commit Suicide to end all these pain"

There is one thing you must be clear about, my dear reader. Everyone has ever felt the pain of losing someone or something they loved. EVERYBODY!

The problem is when we expand the pain in a masochistic way.

Another thing that intensifies this problem is not having prepared psychologically for a lack of love or a love break. In that case, you already know what to do: Learn from your mistakes, decide to fight for life and to follow your path.

Believe me that millions of people have felt the same pain as you but have not committed suicide.

Moreover, despite the fact that the world seems to be unfair to them - some  lost their job, their wives, their houses where they lived, continue giving hard to move ahead.

4- "Without him or her I can not live"

Have you seriously considered where this phrase comes from? Does it really come from you or someone else has introduced it into your unconscious?

As far as I know, it's the love songs, the novels and many more things about popular culture that have made us believe that "we can not live without the person we love."

There is nothing more false than this phrase. You are taking as a truth a phrase that does not come from you. You are canceling your own criteria.

It is for this reason that I decided to write this reflective article for you to realize many things.

That pain you are feeling is normal but now you are intensifying it with phrases like "You are the oxygen I need to live", "Everything with you, nothing without you", "Without your love I will not be able to live".

You will discover all these phrases are borrowed. They are not yours. Inside you there is a BEING that wants to live to the fullest but there is something or someone that stops you: Your intoxicated mind.

And what is she intoxicated with? From phrases that are not genuinely yours, intoxicated from society, from songs, from novels, from everything ... It is time for you to think on your own and decide the best way for yourself really to come to life.

REMEMBER: This is all about DECISION.

I hope you can reflect a lot on what you are about to do. 

Until next time!

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Missionary, writer, motivational speaker, life coach and anti suicidal advocate.


Suicide  solves nothing

Are you distressed?
Do you feel defeated?
Have your friends abandoned you?
Do you feel alone in this cold and hostile world?
Do not you think it's worth living?
Do you feel that there is no longer satisfaction, hope or purpose in life?

Can you only think of suicide to "solve" your problems?
Jesus cares for you in a very special way. He is the Son of Man, the Savior of the world. He says, "The Son of Man came to seek and to save that which was lost" (Luke 19:10). He also wants us to cast "all [our] anxiety upon him, because he cares for [us]" (1 Peter 5: 5).
The devil tells you lies to make you believe there is no solution to the problems of this life. The damned awaits the condemnation of eternal death, and he wants you to suffer the same consequences. That is why he tempts you to doubt the just and merciful God who loves you and cares for you. The devil wants to make you believe that taking your life is to end your problems. Surely you have failed, and you may even be a complete failure. Maybe your supposed friends have abandoned you. Maybe addiction to drugs, alcohol and tobacco has taken over you. Surely it seems to you that there is no hope or solution other than suicide.

Why do people take their own lives? The notes that some suicides have left tell us the story. In them we see frustration, anguish, loneliness and pain. The ravages caused by divorce, drug abuse, and alcohol addiction are leading many to despair. In short, the suicide has come to be convinced that death is the only way out of their problems. However, suicide is only the entrance to major problems.

He who commits suicide awaits torments and anguish much worse than those of this earth. The person who decides to take his life ends forever with all possibility of finding joy, peace and happiness. Go figure! He will never feel joy again! Suicide is no solution! Jesus says, "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11.28). God knew that human life can become bitter, empty and empty. He also knew that sin would entangle us with its tentacles, binding us with more and more force. That is why he sent Jesus Christ to rescue us from sin.

Jesus Christ came to rescue you from sin! He said, "I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly" (John 10.10). Jesus has the power to grant you life, peace, happiness and liberation. Once released, you will see how much life is worth living. You will experience the joy of knowing that your sins do not condemn you. At the same time, you will have a purpose in life, to bring glory, praise and honor to the one who rescued you from the clutches of sin. Do you want to find freedom? Are you sick of your sins? Are you willing to live a new life? Then cry out to the heavenly Deliverer to have mercy on you. Confess to him that you are a sinner, and ask him to cleanse you with his blood. He gave His life on the cross to save you from sin. God accepts the blood of Jesus Christ, His perfect and innocent Son, As the ransom that sets the souls of men free. Approach Jesus with faith and ask for the forgiveness of your sins through mercy. And then you can live!

You will stop serving your selfish desires and you will find peace and joy under the guidance of God. And if the anguish threatens you at any time, your brothers in the faith will always be willing to help you because they care about your good. And the best thing is that your Liberator will become your best friend, and always be ready to listen to your struggles and offer your help and encouragement. He promises to be available every time you call him.

Suicide is not the solution to life's problems. On the contrary, it is the beginning of an eternity of pain and suffering. Is the matter really serious? First John 3:15 warns us: "You know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him." Suicide is a murder as real as a homicide.

The worst thing is that the suicide can never obtain pardon for his act of murder. In Hebrews 9:27 we read: "It is established for men that they die once, and after this the judgment." When a person dies, he can no longer change his condition before God. As he dies, he will be judged before God. If he dies taking his own life, he dies as a murderer. The most tragic thing is that suicide is so unnecessary. Certainly there is a solution to the problems of life. And that solution is attainable right now, in this life. Christ Jesus is the solution: "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life; And shall not come to condemnation, but is gone from death unto life "(John 5:24). Dear reader, if you have lost all hope and you are tired of life, come to Jesus today, and He will give you a new beginning.

If you need further help on finding a permanent solution in Christ Jesus, kindly contact us on and we'll be glad to get in touch with you.

Remain bless

Suicide is not the solution

Suicide is not the solution

Thinking about suicide
Suicide is the act of taking one's own life. There are people who from depression or despair begin to have thoughts and thoughts suicidal.

Julia had the perfect family, until her father committed suicide. No one understood how a man with two daughters, wife, money and travels around the world decided to take his own life. Julia did not understand why her father decided to commit suicide and today she, her sister and her mother, carry the question of what went through her head. What can be so serious as to want to take life? Why does suicide occur?

Many times appearances deceive and someone who seemed happy suicide. Other times, it is someone who was depressed and their response to life is to end it because there are circumstances they can not control or endure. Suicide and suicidal thoughts and actions are reactions to stressful life situations. It usually occurs in the middle of a crisis, sometimes during an episode of intoxication or drugs. It is a tragic moment, but the good thing is that it can be prevented.

If you are having ideas to take your life, talk to someone about what happens to you. Get help. Do not let those ideas of suicide blind you and prevent you from appreciating how beautiful life can be. Talking to someone will help you have perspective and understand that suicide is not the solution.

Watch out for religious sects or fall into groups of fanatics who promote suicide as a form of salvation. This is false and you should stay away from these people and seek other help right away.

If you know someone who is considering suicide , it is good that you learn to identify the warning signs to seek professional help right away. Dont wait! He who pays attention to this can make the difference between the life and death of someone you love, or yourself.

The signs that will alert you about the intentions of suicide that can have someone or yourself are:

Talk about suicide using phrases like "I want to die," "I want to kill myself," "I wish I were dead," "I would rather not have been born."
Look for elements to commit suicide, such as weapons or pills.
Drastic and recurrent mood swings .
Isolate yourself from others and want to be alone.
Feeling very depressed or desperate.
Increased use of drugs and / or alcohol.
Giving away personal belongings or saying goodbye to people as if they were never to be seen again.
Change daily routines such as meal times or bedtime.
To become very extrovert or very shy suddenly.
Practice self-destructive behaviors such as drug use or drive without precaution.
Presenting "para-suicidal" behaviors, that is, they do not cause death but if they cause harm, such as cutting themselves.
There are studies that suggest that suicide has a genetic component . That is, if someone committed suicide in your family, your tendency to thoughts about suicidal actions is likely to be higher. Julia and her family found that someone else in their father's family had taken their own lives.

If you recognize one or more of these suicidal symptoms, it is important to act immediately, seeking professional help in order to receive treatment and avoid a tragic outcome .

Life is beautiful, it is full of opportunities and solutions. A problem can be can be considered in different ways, depending on how you look at it. Think of the beings who love you. Taking away your own life can ruin their lives forever.

Do not rush to end your life, it is a divine gift that you must care for and respect. Seek professional help. So you can feel better, enjoy, smile and be happy.

If you need help you can contact us on

Friday, 21 July 2017



Have you come to this blog looking for easy ways to commit suicide quickly? I hope you decide not to do so after reading this article.
If you have come here with the intention of  ending your life  and learning how to commit suicide, the information you will find here I belief will change your mindset.
However, instead of the well-known guidelines for "how to end your life" and "suicide forms" I will give you a list of situations and attitudes in your life that could life boring and not worth living.
"Become much less than you can become; That's also a form of suicide. "Benjamin Lichtenberg.
Suicide is the act of taking one's own life, but I also think that suicide is not living life to the fullest of our abilities and potentials with passion and vitality.
If you are not loving the life you live, you are already dead (or at least on the way).
Use this article as a tool to open your eyes, if you want, and if there are areas of your life that go these ways, you can make amendment instead of trying to pull the trigger(Kill yourself)

You may also be interested in: My Suicide Story.

1- Make Money the most important thing in Life

I've seen this problem pop up many times before. Many of my college friends, who had so many goals and ambitions, were suddenly struck by the depression because they realized that their hopes and dreams were a desire conditioned by society and that it depended completely on whether they made money or not.
We place so much importance on money that we fail to realize that it is an inanimate object like no other. The truth is that money is a simple role, something completely stripped of substance and which is not proof of our personal value.
That is the point! If you value a piece of plain paper the same as you value yourself, you may not be able to enjoy all that life offers.

2 - Poor food

Imagine your body is a machine. Each time you fill the tank with low quality gasoline, your engine deteriorates a little more. Likewise, if you decide to feed yourself the wrong way, for example: getting fed up with fast foods or perhaps eliminating food from your life altogether, instead of following a healthy diet, you are killing your organs and slowly taking his life away.
Life is a work in progress which requires constant and consistent work.
Like a machine, our body must be kept well lubricated, properly maintained, and not abused if we expect it to last.

3 - Destroying the environment
The legacy we leave behind is only for our descendants. Either the offspring of our offspring, or future generations to follow. By destroying the environment, you are making it much more difficult for these people to survive.

If they do not have a place to call home, then whatever you have done, and in whatever way you have contributed to the world, die with them. We are so obsessed with our own belongings that we can not see the whole picture.

Learn to think that the earth is the home in which you live, and all your gifts abound our access to many pleasures. Our responsibility is to maintain this in the healthiest and best conditions.

4 - Getting away from your family, friends and society
Our inability to understand each other on good terms with other people, whether they are our loved ones or others, is simply a reflection of our own claim to moral superiority.

We have to learn to want more to be able to understand ourselves with them paying the price of not always having to be right. Instead of waiting for people to be as we expect them to be, we may choose to see people as beings without limits.

This means to stop wanting to always have the last word, in favor of harmonious and satisfying relationships.

5 - Allow your judgments to guide your life.
We can turn what we think about people into a law and thus a guide for our lives. By believing that people are manipulative, and determined to hurt us in some way, we are creating a world in which we are the victims.
However, we can create a world in which people are brilliant. We can choose to see faults as occasional rotten apples and virtues as something very common.

We must understand that judgment is not something that is beyond our control and that we can convince ourselves of this and live accordingly.
Have you realized that when you consider that someone is a bad person, everything she does is automatically bad?

This is because our judgment has invented its own world and has also created a mechanism of defense that makes you someone more cynical and not someone happier.

6 - Using alcohol, drugs and smoking cigarettes.
Do not. Should I say something else? It's ok, I'll do it. As you surround yourself with people for whom your attention is focused on these activities you are exposing yourself greatly to your influences.

The idea is not to test day after day how resilient and elastic you can be. You will eventually be prone to having a moment of weakness.

Do yourself a favor and surround yourself with people whom you admire, so emulate them will be a blessing to you.

7 - Forget your dreams.
Throughout the course of our lives we all have moments in which we take the gaze out of our dreams and become susceptible to surviving life instead of living it. This can be expressed by not doing the things we love to do, by making excuses for our lack of encouragement, and by dreaming very low.

It is not that dreams can not change over time, they should do so, but we must allow them to adapt to us and not to our circumstances.

The people around us always let us know their opinion, but it is important to remember that we are not puppets and we are not forced to live the visions of others.

8. Abandon growth.
Did you know that a shark should be moving forward at all times? Water runs through your gills, providing the oxygen required to sustain your life. They are still moving while they sleep.
In the same way, human beings must be subject to a progressive and constant development and improvement in order to maintain happiness and personal fulfillment.

A person who is arrested, like a body of stagnant water, is filled with many doubts, and blackened with insecurities. We are living in a changing world, so we must embrace change, instead of fearing and avoiding it.

9. Lose your individualism.
It is important to realize that in the great design / model / plan of the universe we are almost nothing and very insignificant. However, for us to avoid being swallowed up by the latest fashionable stupidity that comes into our lives we must have a very good knowledge of who we are.

Nothing would save us from being the victims of a charismatic dictator, an oppressive abuser, an infomercial, or accepting an immoral proposal.
We must choose, not choose for us.

10. Lose interest.
If indifference is the poison that wounds relationships, disinterest is the poison that leads to a slow and painful death. When the words "I do not care" begin to have that same meaning, we must be on high alert!

The moment people lose interest in their own lives, they lose interest in everything else. Their lives become a daily pursuit of insignificant and easy to reach pleasures that make them believe that their lives are very good.

Sadly, at the same time they end up with a life without hope for beauty, joy and personal fulfillment.

And the best way to commit suicide according to ZonaJ is:
To live a life disconnected from God
As it is public knowledge, the most important part of our being, the spirit, is invisible and this causes people to completely forget it.

The moment your body asks for food you provide it; When your body is sleepy, you lie down to sleep. But when your spirit cries for that great void you have, you try to calm it down with a new friendship, or a new toy, or a new job, etc., when in reality, the only thing your spirit seeks is to be reconnected with your creator.

To live life one more day, without a personal and direct communication with God, is a life that will never make sense.

"You always live in distress, always worried, come to me and I will give you rest" Jesus, Matthew 11:28

If this article has to do with you, you are not the only one. We all have moments when we want to give up because we feel alone or unhappy.
The most important thing to keep in mind is that most of the time we can choose to be sources of joy, peace and a purposeful life instead of being alone and unhappy.
It is by realizing that you have the power to choose the right path to follow that life makes sense. There's always hope!

Counsel against suicide
This article is related to a very serious topic. You may perhaps needs help to avoid any of the above stated enemies of sound life or others not stated.
We would like be of help to you. You contact us on

Thursday, 20 July 2017



What else could be more funny than a global village  called "the World"? I have all along tried to fathom the mystery of life, asking so many unanswered questions about why this world chooses to be as it were. I'm of course not so sure, but I  assume God never created it this way. Then what could have manipulated the beautiful place created by God for the benefit of His people, is still a question you my readers may need to help me provide answers to.

What a world where the privileged  few get the best and the less privilege considered themselves ill-luck?

You don't need to bother about my name or my location, but all that matter is that this world has not been fair enough to me.

As a little girl grown up in a village from a poor family, I grew to know what poverty and suffering is. My parents' financial status could not afford them to enroll me into primary school when they should have. And to complicate the matter, at the age of 10, my mother divorced my dad when she could no longer endure the degree of this suffering without any assurance of a better tomorrow.

My mother took me along when she divorced my dad, and not quite long, she got married to another man who is far better than my dad financially and I thought I have come to a place where my suffering will be abated and my life will be decorated until on a funny but unforgettable day when my mum left me with my step father to go to the market. My step father called me into his room, carried me on the bed, forcefully off my clothes and sexually abused me.

He threatened that any time I tell my mum about it, I will die like chicken. And for that threat, I could not dare open my mouth to relate my ordeal to my mum when she came back. And  this abuse continued every time the two of us are left at home for a good period of two years until  he eventually broke up with my mum and sent us away from his house.

I grew up in acute poverty, with experience of broken home, and as if that was never enough, I was again sexually abused. I lost my self-esteem, my worth seems to have gone, and I began to hate this world and everything therein. I considered life not worth living. I considered myself the most mischievous person that ever lived, and I decided that nothing else could be better than suicidal.

I decided to kill myself without my mum knowing. I felt that will bring a permanent solution to my predicaments and since my mind is made up on what I want to do (commit suicide), nothing again interest me about this life. I want to translate into another world the religious people has been rumoring is far better than here.

On that faithful day I decided to execute my suicidal plan, I was heading towards a forest where I wanted to go and hang myself when I saw a group of people gathered together watching film, and I decided to just enjoy myself for the very last time. So I stopped over to watch.

The film been showed was the story of the life of Jesus Christ according to the gospel of Luke. I was so captivated with what I was seeing so much that I couldn't leave the place. I was soon lost in the loving power of God to bring healing to every aspect of man's life so much that I soon forgot my plan.

The most interesting part of the film was the place where Jesus suffered and bore my sins and the sins of the world. As I watched Him suffers the pains of the cross and finally died, I immediately began to sense how needy of a Saviour I was. I felt relieved within me in such a way I can't just understand, i and began to sense a new hope beyond my present challenges. When the preacher called for those that wanted to give their life to Christ, I couldn't help it but to jump to the front to accept the awesome love of Christ and summit my plan to embrace His glorious plans for my life.

I decided not to kill myself again. I found a better life, and picked my life up again on the platform of my Redeemer's grace, and life become worth living again.

I returned back home justified and happier than never before. I forgave my step father and even myself for wanting to commit suicide.

Ever since that encounter, my life becomes a testimony, and things begin to fall in place for my good.

My family was reunited back, things began to change for my dad, and we began to live a happy family.

I could not thank God enough not to have killed myself. Suicidal thought was deleted, my self-esteem was raised and now I see world as a beautiful place to enjoy all that my Savior have here for me while eagerly awaiting the full consolation at His coming.

You may be passing through a similar case to mine or even worse, but I'm here to announce to you that there is a friend who cares. His name is Jesus.
All you just  need to do is to accept Him into you life in a very simple ways:
1. Accept yourself as a sinner
2. Confess and repent of your sins
3. Invite Jesus into your life as your personal Lord and Savior

If you just asked Jesus into your life, we would love to hear your stories, so we can continue to uphold you in prayers. You can also share with us how God helped you overcome suicidal thoughts.

Get in touch with us on

Kehinde Pius O
Missionary, writer, life coach and anti suicidal advocate

Five Foods That Help You Be Happy and Fight Depression

Five Foods That Help You Be Happy and Fight Depression.

Depression has been highlighted as one of the major causes of suicide, and different psychological guidelines has been offered over the years to help abate it. But this article want to look into the antidotes to depression from other direction which is food.

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that according to numerous specialists in emotional health is intimately linked to happiness. That's why we present the five foods that contain this compound that will help you fight depression.

When we talk about depression we do not only talk about mental illness, which manifests itself with at least six months of sadness, repressed anger or anhedonia (absence of pleasure), but also of the muted feeling that does not let enjoy life. To combat it, when there are no indications that the problem is pathological, you can opt for a diet rich in serotonin. These are the foods that most contain it.

Dairy products such as cheeses, yogurts or shakes contain high levels of compounds that directly affect the synthesis of serotonin by the body. Thus, the more we consume these foods, as well as eggs or meat proteins, the more serotonin we will be able to synthesize.

A balanced diet is one of the best ways to keep the body and mind functioning at full capacity, so it is advisable to consume vegetable foods, fresh fruits, whole grains and legumes. In addition, all these foods are rich in serotonin.

All foods that contain fiber, such as wheat bran, nuts such as almonds or peanuts, whole wheat bread, legumes or carrots. This list includes foods high in antioxidants that prevent aging and are good for counteracting the symptoms of depression and anxiety.

It is also advisable not to abuse alcohol consumption and try to avoid it as much as possible since it is not recommended if we feel sad. Although it can be thought otherwise, the reality is that alcohol has a depressant effect of the central nervous system, so it is advisable to limit its consumption.

Although mass consumption should be avoided, a little chocolate or foods high in sugars or flours quickly activate serotonin levels in the blood.

Wednesday, 12 July 2017

Depression and Suicide: A story of Survival...

Depression and Suicide: A story of Survival...

By Akinsehinwa Damilola

Growing up in the city for those who had the providential privilege,
unlike some of us who spent our early years in the village, is
something they should be eternally grateful for.

Yes we have our lives to be thankful for, yet the disadvantages
outweighed the benefits we enjoyed.

At a very tender age, I had heard so many stories from neighbouring
villages -and within- of people who take their own life for so many
reasons. Many of these people are men who had lost their farmlands and
crops to flood and bad weather, some their life savings, some wives or
children- and I had considered all these reasons as preposterous for
anyone to commit suicide.

At the time, we had no therapist. The counsellors at our disposals are
just the few elderly men and women who believe in spirituality as a
solution to every problem. Those who care enough to ask questions
would only brush issues at the surface and still end up proffering a
spiritual panacea. What a life we lived then!
Well, let me share a quick story of mine and how depression almost led
me to suicide.

As I grew older and more reality of life began to unfold before me, I
realised that that situation which could have brought about my own
demise, has helped to bring about a permanent positive change in my
After I left the village for greener pastures in the city—a new
environment entirely and one that would change my view about life
forever—survival became almost impossible as all effort to get a means
of livelihood proved abortive.
'Are village people still after me? Did the gods not accept my
sacrifices before I left?' These and many more questions thronged my
I have no academic qualification to get a good job, no apprenticeship
skill to make money and the city has no farming lands for me to work
on. My treasury had been emptied, dimming my hope of returning home. I
found myself really empty and numb to the world, alone and confused.
The cave under the bridge became my home at night.
This was not the life I begged the gods for!

I was lucky, but Baba Suraju wasn't. Baba Wale, too.

Weeks before he was found hanging from a tree along the four village's
central market,
Baba Wale would roam the entire village guarding jealously his
personal gourd. He frequented the local wine bar, begging every tom
dick and harry for money or what he would eventually purchase with it
– palm wine.

He was a successful farmer with the largest banana and yam plantation
in all of the four villages.

Unlike other farmers, Baba Suraju kept a low lifestyle but satisfied
his small sized family with everything they need. His first child and
only son was going to be a medical doctor— the first in their lineage
and also the village. The only person who came closer to such
achievement was Chief Gbadebo, a retired secondary school principal.
Suraju was the pride of his father. His visit to the village whenever
he comes home for the holidays always attract a good number of people
at there house, especially younger ones who would like to ask barrage
of question about city and medicine.

Tragedy hit the entire village as news broke about the demise of
Suraju. He was involved in a ghastly motor accident on his way back to
school. He didn't make it to the hospital before he died.

Mourners thronged their house to sympathise with the family. His
father's eyes were red, but without a tear. He would fold his arms and
keep to himself all day long, refusing comforts. Food became a
medicine for him. He refused to go to farm, but would roam the entire
village barefoot and dangling after getting drunk.

The gods were appeased on his behalf, but the pains in his heart grew
unabated. He became depressed, his life's investment gone and
gradually, he was giving up on life.

Slowly, I began to lose my sanity. Strangers became my acquaintances
and my life was becoming miserable just like theirs. But I know i
wasn't like them

I battled overwhelming depression and fear especially when alone. The
voices that echo in my head day in and out were making me go almost

Solutions come in different ways and that is why I considered myself
lucky to have gotten one at the time it came. I was giving up on life
and everything. I had thought about ending my own life.

Just when I had completed all plans and as I lay that afternoon
mourning my unfulfilled life, i was jolted back to life by a cold hand
on my shoulder. The fragrance that wafted around me still lingers in
my olfactory lobe till today.
"God could be a great deal of help if you would allow him" The female
voice pierced through my ear.

I never wanted anything to disrupt my plans. But as I turned back into
my thought, this voice persisted.

I asked what she wanted from me and she began reading a litany of
words from a book which I latter found out to be a Bible.

She was able to get my attention and I watch her walked in my shoes
for the few minutes we talked.
She spoke as if she already knew my suicide mission and she pleaded
with me to dislodge such thoughts with reasons which I eventually gave
in to.

As days turned into weeks, she became a regular visitor. A light was
given to me and it showed me a path I am on till today—a path of hope
for a better tomorrow.

The lesson I learnt was that truly, nobody wakes and decide to take
their own lives, but when desperation, depression and despair torment
one from all side, suicide is just a permanent solution to a temporary
problem. There is a way somewhere.

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Sunday, 9 July 2017

Suicidal thoughts of anxiety: we are looking for another solution

Suicidal thoughts of anxiety: we are looking for another solution

End suffering . It is the only thing that a person who has been living a long season with anxiety disorders can think of . Obviously, there are a thousand solutions to end the anxiety, but you do not always receive the support you need or can not find the most appropriate treatment.

Although suicide is more related to depression , anxiety can also generate suicidal thoughts, as the only alternative to escape from the distorted, catastrophic and terrible reality that you perceive with anxiety. The most important thing is to prevent suicidal thoughts . Because there is always another solution.

You can not. You have been so long in that state of agitation, with nerves as inseparable companions, anguish , pressure in the chest, that headache that never goes away. And fear , above all, the fear that everything goes wrong. Even that fear of dying. Maybe it's for the best. End everything and stop suffering.

These suicidal thoughts, these desire to die so that ending the suffering by anxiety is more frequent than we think and is best understood if we analyze some of the consequences of suffering some of the anxiety disorders for a long time. Because reality disappears to give way to an agony .

There are many people who have not sought help or have not found it, they reach an unsustainable situation. Anxiety problems can upset your life to the point of making you lose work, friends and family. So it's not strange, that at some point you can not do more and you decide to end it all. But we can assure you that suicide is not the best way out for your anxiety.

You may be wondering what sense it has to live in that state, in a life you can not control, that you do not even own your thoughts, because they are dominated by nerves, worry and anguish. Indeed, it makes no sense to live like this. That is why we will continue to fight against anxiety .

At this point, you probably do not have the strength to continue fighting. Have you tried everything already? Surely not. The psychological treatment for anxiety gives you the tools you need to see the light and out your suicidal thoughts. And support groups allow you to meet people who have been in your situation, who understand you perfectly and who have managed to overcome anxiety. They have managed to regain the will to live.

You can do it too. You can also recover the illusion and the desire to do things, to talk with people, to hug, to laugh, to walk, to read. All of this can come back to your life as soon as you learn to handle anxiety . If you have not got it so far, do not be discouraged, you may not have found the right treatment. But if you try it again you will surely get it.

Anxiety is named after a woman

It appears without realizing it, it overflows us as beer foam, and bears female name. What is it? The anxiety. Never before have women been as burdened with responsibilities as they are today. We give ourselves to family, work and other activities that compromise our passion and little time remains for ourselves. What's the score? Anxiety overflows us and is expressed in its many forms that range from souring the character to laying down our hair.

Stressful situations

Our body has foreseen certain responses to stressful situations, such as those that cause us fear; And between them are that feeling of nervousness, leap in the stomach, tachycardia, sweaty hands and feet, etc., that trigger us the alert in compromising situations and that we have all experienced them one time. As long as those symptoms do not get out of control , they will help us stay focused and face the challenges ahead.

However, sometimes the system malfunctions. Anxiety occurs disproportionately and is sometimes triggered for no apparent reason. In these cases, when it appears inappropriately or is so intense and lasting that it interferes with normal activities, we should begin to look at it as a disorder.

Anxiety disorders are, as a whole, the most frequent psychiatric illness. They are classified as generalized anxiety, panic, phobic, obsessive-compulsive and post-traumatic.

Types of Anxiety Disorders

+  Generalized Anxiety Disorder : This is a chronic tension even when nothing seems to provoke it. This excessive worry or nervousness is almost daily and is diagnosed as such when it has a minimum duration of six months.

+ Panic disorder (or anxiety attack) : You will experience recurring crises of distress that arise spontaneously. It is an acute and extreme anxiety in which it is frequent that the person feels that he is going to die. These sudden attacks of intense fear do not have a direct cause. Occasionally, patients who suffer from this disorder develop anxiety to experience the next attack, whose occurrence can not predict, is the so-called anticipatory anxiety.

+ Phobic disorder : Its essential feature is the presence of an irrational and persistent character in the face of a specific object, activity or situation with the consequent avoidance of the dreaded object. For example, the fear of flying, the birds or the enclosed spaces, the darkness, etc.

+ Obsessive-compulsive disorder : These are non-voluntary thoughts or actions that the patient can not stop thinking or do not generate anxiety. In any case, the subject recognizes the absurdity of his thoughts or actions. For example: washing your hands every few minutes, counting things, etc.

+ Post-traumatic stress disorder : It occurs in cases that there are unpleasant psychological sequels after the impact of an emotional trauma. As in the case of an accident or violation. It is characterized by persistent memories of the traumatic event, an emotional state with exalted vigilance and the general reduction of interest in everyday events.

+ Panic Attack : Caused by a very intense anxiety is characterized by sensation of choking and oppression in the throat, difficult breathing, sweating, nausea, tremors, tachycardia or palpitations. Women are two to three times more likely than men to panic attacks .

These disorders require specialized help. Sometimes psychotherapy sessions are enough ,

Thursday, 6 July 2017

The drama of children used for suicide bombings in Nigeria

The drama of children used for suicide bombings in Nigeria

As of 2017, there are already 27 children who have been used for suicide bombings in the Lake Chad area. Under the title  Silent Shame  ,  UNICEF  has released a report that gives voice to children, youth and adolescents captured by Boko Haram.

The goal is to open the eyes of the world to get supports that end this situation and get what hashtags #EndViolence and #BringBackOurChildhood ask.

Journalists report the atrocities being experienced in the Lake Chad area of​Africa. Among thousands of incumbents, does the society understand the gravity of the situation? How did you get there? Here are some keys:

Where is it happening?
In the Lake Chad basin in West Africa, in areas of Nigeria, Chad, Niger and Cameroon.

In what context?
For the past eight years, the drought crisis has been accentuated by the seriousness of the conflict provoked by Boko Haram and by military operations to combat it.

According to  Óscar Mateos , a CIDOB researcher   specializing in Africa, "we are talking about a region that has very deep problems." These are inequality, poverty, the impact of climate change, human development, etc. "In addition the area has seen its situation exacerbated since the start of the Boko Haram offensive," the expert explains. The action began in northeastern Nigeria and has spread to the region as a whole. "There are millions of displaced people and a situation of general insecurity. For Mateos, "the humanitarian crisis is of great dimensions".

What is Boko Haram?
It is a jihadist group that has already killed more than 20,000 lives. In their attacks they kidnap minors to use as labor, warriors, tools in suicide attacks or, in the case of girls, to make them their wives and sexually abuse them.

Who are the Chibok girls?
Just three years ago the terrorist group abducted 276 girls in the town of Chibok, Nigeria. To this day, only a few of them have been able to flee and bear witness to the horror that their comrades are still living. Some have even become pregnant with their kidnappers. Despite the media impact of this action, UNICEF reports that abductions occurred before and after the Chibok episode.

Mateos emphasizes that these tactics are true, and reiterates that "Boko Haram forcibly recruits children to make them explode in markets and elsewhere." However, the researcher says that "it is a fact invisible and only mediated at certain times."

What figures come out of the report?
27 minors have been used to carry out attacks since the month of January. Since 2014, they are already 117.
80% of the minors used for these acts were girls.
20 million people in the region are affected by the conflict.
More than 2.6 million people have been forced to move.
What happens to the released children?
UNICEF spokesman Philippe Barragne-Bigot says  the country is  not easy to live with. In many cases, as the same report indicates with actual testimony, these children live in doubt about the level of indoctrination and whether they have come to act in favor of the terrorist group. Some are not accepted by their families again. Marie-Pierre Poirer explains it also in the press release that presented the report.

Why are children used for these attacks?
"This is the most serious act of cruelty against children," Poirer explains, and they have no justification or response. UNICEF publishes the data to raise public awareness. "It's a study we do every year, because we believe we have to keep remembering this drama," says Philippe Barragne-Bigot.

Non-suicidal self-harm: Who does it affect and why does it occur?

Non-suicidal self-harm: Who does it affect and why does it occur?

A pattern of behavior based on pain and injury that is difficult to understand.
Physical pain has almost always been defined as the sensation that produces reactions of aversion; That is, an unpleasant experience that we try to avoid. It appears when our nervous system records that certain tissues of cells have been injured and allows us to react in time to move away from the danger.

However, human beings do not always act consistently with this logic; In some cases the pain is something intentionally sought, something that is achieved through self-injury. This idea is behind the concept of non-suicide self-harm .

What is non-suicidal self-harm?
Self-injury is associated with suicide attempts very easily, but in reality, in many cases, the goal you have in mind when it occurs is not death itself: self-injury is valued in itself, not as a means.

Thus, Non-Suicidal Self-injury consists of the type of self-harm that occurs because of a dynamics learned to try to reduce anxiety levels  through practices such as cutting, biting or banging against hard objects in which the Own body.

A mental disorder?
There is no broad consensus as to whether Non-Suicidal Self-injury is itself a mental disorder or a symptom that can reveal one's presence. In the DSM-IV diagnostic manual it appears as a symptom linked to the  Personality Limit Disorder , although in version V it appears as its own diagnostic label.

Why is NSA produced?
What the NSA is trying to achieve is a sense of momentary relief produced in part by the distraction of physical pain, which allows one to disengage attention from abstract ideas and memories that are even more painful.

According to the logic behind Non-Suicidal Self-Assertion, the simple possibility of experiencing something other than that kind of anxiety and a solution to  rumination (looping thinking about something that causes discomfort) is valued very positively.

In other words, in order to understand why Non-Suicidal Self-injury appears as a pattern of learned actions, it is necessary to take into account not the pain that is felt at the time of injury, but the effect that that pain produces in a person who carries a lot time followed suffering for other reasons . That is to say, it is not necessary to see the snapshot or the frozen image of the self-injury, but the process of sensations and experiences that have led to that outcome, since that is what allows to take into account the usefulness that the pain can have for the person. In that sense, it would look like  trichotillomania .

There is also an alternative explanation about the causes of the ANS that links it to a  low self-esteem and a tendency to think negatively about oneself, with which self-injury would be a way to reflect that self-contempt through self-punishment . However, it is quite possible that low self-esteem is another symptom of the underlying problem, not the cause of Non-Suicidal Self-harm.

The ANS as a predictor of suicides
Although the purpose of the ANS is not to end life itself, it is true that its presence is a predictor of possible suicide attempts in the future . A person who is self-defeating will have a better chance of getting to die, among other things because the "ritual" that has led to this kind of events has been assimilated and is thought of more frequently.

Symptoms of Non-Suicidal Self-harm
The most obvious symptoms of ANS are the scars that produce the cuts and the bites and the bruises that leave the blows.

The cuts, which are very common, usually appear on the arms and legs , and therefore can be visible with a variety of types of clothing. Other forms of self-injury are more discreet.

The profile of people who self-harm
Non-suicidal self-harm is more frequent among young people: mainly adolescents and post-adolescents. This may be due to the fact that the emotional instability produced by hormonal changes produces major and more severe anxiety attacks, coupled with the social changes that appear at this stage of life : doubts about one's own identity, about what to be studied, problems in fleeting relationships, etc.

In addition there are certain personality traits that are more frequent among people who practice this kind of self-injury. These are people with a high impulsivity and emotionality (or sensitivity) who, in addition, have low self-esteem and value their abilities to the bottom and in a pessimistic way.

Treatments and psychotherapy
The most effective psychotherapeutic options are those that are framed within the  Cognitive Behavioral Therapies , that is, that approach both the actions and the thoughts. In particular, Linehan's Dialectic Behavior Therapy (TDC) , created especially to address cases of Personality Limit Disorder, has been highly resorted to.

In any case, the role of psychologists focuses on reducing the frequency and intensity of these behaviors as well as learning ways of thinking and relating to others that allow them to move away from stress in an adaptive and undisturbed way . Likewise, a level of vigilance is maintained to detect moments in which suicidal ideation may appear.

Suicide attempt is a mental disorder that can be overcome

Suicide attempt is a mental disorder that can be overcome

The International Association for the Prevention of Suicide and the World Health Organization work to prevent people of all ages from attempting to end their lives deliberately.
An average of almost 3,000 people commit suicide every day. In addition to the loss of the person who kills herself, this phenomenon also represents problems in the health of family and friends.

The first cause of suicide is untreated mental disorder. Hence, maintaining and maintaining the mental health of each individual and of the community in general is fundamental to counteract this and other types of disorders that trigger behaviors with violent or fatal consequences.

For Dr. Pedro Gómez, a psychiatrist at the Universidad del Norte Hospital, mental health is a state of well-being where the individual is able to develop his potential, be autonomous and relate to the environment. Anyone, by the mere fact of being human, can suffer a mental illness.

"There are risk factors that make some people more vulnerable than others, but the important thing is to demystify psychiatric care as a process of torture and humiliation, when in fact it is the professional accompaniment and integral intervention for the management, overcoming or control of the Mental illness, "explains the specialist.

It is possible to have a mental illness and not know it. Many mental illnesses are only diagnosed at the moment of a crisis that is triggered by an everyday situation. Sometimes people find it normal to find themselves worried, nervous, depressed and inadvertently have a distorted view of reality.

"They feel persecuted, predisposed, and do not sleep well. It is very important to be aware of the problem, either by itself or with the support of family and friends, to avoid more serious disorders, "says Gomez.

Among the most common mental illnesses are disorders of mood, anxieties, personality disorders, psychosis, addictions and suicidal ideation.

Signs of alarm. The warning signs are usually not perceived by the patient but by their relatives, friends or co-workers. There are notable changes in behavior, loss of interest, forgetfulness, guilt, impulsivity and aggressiveness. A person who expresses a desire to die or to take his own life should never be ignored.

Can they heal ?. According to Dr. Gómez, the possibility of cure of a mentally ill patient depends on the condition of each patient and the type of pathology. Most neurotic disorders (depression, anxiety) can be cured with appropriate intervention.

Today there are transient psychoses (dementia, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder) that are cured thanks to the advancement of technology for studies of brain functioning and genetics, as well as controllable, more non-curable psychotic disorders.
In the case of suicide, a person who has already tried to take his own life has a high risk of doing so again. Therefore, the family and professional support is definitive to prevent and give up the suicidal idea.

Suicides increase worldwide. There is a growing awareness that suicide is a major public health problem, although it remains taboo in many societies. According to the World Health Organization, over the past 50 years, global suicide rates have increased by 60%, and the increase has been particularly notable in developing countries.
It was reported that suicides are already one of the three leading causes of death among 15- to 34-year-olds, but most are among adults and older people (60 years of age or older).

The suicide rate at the local level in the Atlantic Department is relatively low compared to other countries. It is around 4.1 per 100,000 inhabitants per year, or about 50 suicides per year.

However, the incidence in the young population rises to 8 per 100 thousand inhabitants per year, largely due to the consumption of psychoactive substances. Behind drug abuse is mental illness, dual pathology that increases the risk in addicts.

At the Hospital Universidad del Norte there is at least one weekly suicide attempt, most of them due to poisoning. Psychiatric management, control, medication or hospitalization treatment is applied according to the physician's assessment of suicidal risk on a scale.

"Our job and that of the whole community is to educate and raise awareness among patients, our children and people that suicide is not an option. On the contrary, it is a false departure from which family and friends hardly recover ", concludes Dr. Gómez.

There are still more psychiatrists
. Although diseases or situations associated with mental disorders, such as suicide, anorexia, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or alcoholism, among others, are increasing, in the world, in general, there is a shortage of psychiatrists to give attention to this.

In the case of Colombia, there are only 3 active psychiatrists per 100,000 inhabitants - the European Union presents the highest average with 19 per 100,000 - and according to the number of inhabitants of the country, we have only 1,151 of these professionals, while that in the Department of the Atlantic there are only 68, according to figures to 2003 of the Colombian magazine of psychiatry.

Psychiatrist Gomez shares some important recommendations for people who are close to someone with an impulse to commit suicide:

• Do not underestimate the threats of suicide from anyone expressing a desire to take their own lives.
• More than wrong, it is unfair to think that the person only wants to attract attention. Any attempt to commit suicide, however slight, is a cry for help from someone who suffers.
• Never incite the person to commit suicide, with the wrong idea that he or she gives up.
• Do not criticize, judge or embarrass the person who tried to kill himself.
• Love, accompaniment and professional help are decisive for the recovery of a patient with suicidal ideation.

Suicide and the Taboo of Suicide

Suicide and the Taboo of Suicide

Every time we hear the news of a suicide we are crushed in the head with a lot of questions. The reasons that lead a person to end their life may be multiple but, from our longing for life, we may not find any valid and even reasonable.

Although it seems strange and infrequent is not so much as in Spain more than three thousand five hundred people decide to end each year with their life. The reason why we are not aware of this fact is the silence of the media and, until recently, the health and social services for fear of the effect of imitation. It is believed that if you talk about this issue you can encourage others to carry out such an action and the number of suicides would skyrocket. Not in vain is it called the " silent death . "

As a result of this fear, the subject becomes or, rather, continues to be a taboo. From the religious culture we have assumed until recently, suicide was punished. Survivors of suicide attempts were stigmatized and viewed as the family dishonor. When the result was expected, the person pointed to the family was blamed and blamed for such "atrocity . " In all cases, Christian morality did not allow us to speak about the subject, nor did it give us the option of reflecting on the causes to try to fight a new attempt on the part of the survivor or by another relative.

Suicide notes can help understand suicidal people but those who remain suffer equally from loss and, at times, stigma on the part of society.

Not only from Christian culture but most religions consider suicide an act of cowardice and ingratitude for the most precious good we have, life. For this reason, the news of deaths of this type we fall like jugs of cold water. It is difficult to understand because we still have this idea about how untouchable is the miracle of life and empathizing with the suicide comes to give us a little fear and grief.

Often, we believe that those who make the decision to end their life have a serious mental illness because otherwise no one could. Traditionally we consider that suicides are very depressed people who feel that their life is worth nothing. But it is not always so, there are multiple causes, reasons and situations why a person decides to end their life and also do not have to be mentally ill.
Sometimes they can be acts carried out during the process of a psychotic outbreak, in the middle of a delirium, as the only way out of the pain or the fear that the person is suffering at that moment, believing that something terrible was going to happen to him.
Drugs are another cause. A "bad trip" when consuming a psychoactive substance that produces hallucinations can lead to the person being in danger and trying to escape causing his own death.

There are cases in which it is only a question of making a call of attention. To provoke a suicide attempt to capture the attention that they do not believe they deserve is a medium quite used, especially, by some people with mental disorders such as, for example, those affected by borderline personality disorder. In these cases, the problem is that the high number of attempts means that the urgency is lost and that the messages are not given importance or that they may at any given time "go hand in hand" and actually commit suicide.

We also hear that mass suicides occur as a result of sectarian rituals or because of despair in the face of a disaster, usually social or economic. The latter is the case of people who threw themselves out of New York skyscrapers when the Great Depression of 1929 broke out. Suicide is now recurring as a way out of debts of large sums of money, Drugs, gambling, agreements with mafias, etc. Desperation for the inability to solve these problems can end with suicide.

The mourning for a suicide is one of the most difficult to assimilate because of the doubts and the feeling of guilt that it leaves in those who survive.

But, at the present time, we do not need to come up with reasons that, at times, seem to us as a movie plot. The current economic crisis means that people who lose their jobs, their home and still remain indebted to the banks, because of their mortgages, install the defenselessness learned in their body and brain. The feeling that they do what they do will never find a solution to those problems leads to the visualization of death itself as the only possible way out.

Suicide becomes a mechanism of defense against one's own hopelessness, fear of the future, insecurity, defenselessness learned and the inability to adapt to the world in which one lives and the demands that society imposes on us.

Wednesday, 5 July 2017

Suicide: Courageous before death or Cowardly before Life?

Suicide: Courageous before death or Cowardly before Life?

We do not usually think of suicide because to think of suicide is to think of death as an intention or as an end. We are so attached to life and we do not want to die; That thinking about suicide is not an everyday act.

When we hear about an accomplished act of  suicide, it  is inevitable that we do not focus our attention on it. Find out about the suicide of someone close to us, for example :  a television actor, singer, neighbor and / or friend does not go unnoticed . When someone is very close as a friend with whom you may have shared the day before the impact is greater.

This surely causes a tremendous shock, invites reflection on life and death. It is now when we value that person who is not and who did not know how to appreciate enough in life . We remember everything about that person and comment with our closest friends our impression. Consequently, we often see as a phenomenon in social networks like Facebook and WhatsApp photos and videos of people who have taken their lives.
We are so attached to life and we do not want to die; That thinking about suicide is not an everyday act.

Inevitable not to think about why, the reason or the cause by which that person has made that decision, is something that is born as a necessity for us, simply because we do not understand the origin of this decision so transcendental. I am alive, I want to die and I will.

Say goodbye to life.
Brave to death or cowardly to life? I have heard this phrase many times, it is an approach by some when thinking about suicide. No one at all can know what goes through a person's mind at the very moment when he is executing his own death.

And what to say about suicide's chosen ways to say goodbye, the way it impacts a lot in their community and social groups closer. Much is said of that person by the way in which he has decided to leave. We see suicides with quiet deaths like pills not to wake up and the intake of poisonous substances, however we also see other more violent ways like hang yourself, hit a head shot or the like, ( they are just examples for you to understand me) .

There are behaviors that from the point of view of psychology are classified as originating from suicide, here I present the most common:

Stressful life situations :
Bipolar disorder

I want to stress about the stressful type, since in these are many situations that in my view, anyone without being a health professional, can identify them and I think it can help.
Stressful factors such as intra-family violence, sexual abuse, financial crisis, major changes. These situations we have often noticed in somebody's life, however, we have not stopped to think that the person who suffers them possibly of stress would be at risk of opting for the suicide. But you can! I encourage you not to overlook situations like these and you are more present in the life of those who need it.

Suicide and social networks.
I want to emphasize in a phenomenon more and more present in the already consummate suicide. We see that through the immediate dissemination offered by social networks added to the imprudence of the person who found the body of the suicide, it has become common place to see the photo of that person who committed suicide i.e the photo Of how they found her when she lay dead .

Sharing the photo on the social networks of a suicide , it is  as if we lost respect for the dignity of that person and sought to satisfy our need for almost perverse curiosity. 

If a photo of an acquaintance comes to you, cut that chain, delete that photo in order to respect that person, I'm sure you would not like that photo just be seen by thousands of people. Be empathic. Would you want them to do the same to you? I think not.
The youngsters themselves in any phase of their teenage years have fantasized about suicide. Let us not forget that we have present in the universal literature, the great apology to suicide: Romeo and Juliet!

The adolescent stage is a very strong stage in the life of any person, it is when greater pressure is exerted on the individual to take the reins of his future academic, professional, affective etc. In many cases without having a clear vision of his future, the adolescent tends to initiate defense mechanisms: the abstraction of the real world, rebellion, the contradiction among many others, all this to repel is a stressful situation.
There are social factors immersed in the community where the adolescent lives that sometimes favors suicide attempts, punctually when it does not meet certain standards imposed by a society. The teenager translates it into failure and from there it is possible to derive a depression.

The fact of "not belonging" to strong social groups, many adolescents affect them enormously. They do not yet have a defined character that protects them from the complexes that their self-esteem suffers.

Did you know that you can help a potential suicide bomber?
Yes, the ideal is to go with a psychotherapist, psychologist and / or psychiatrist. They know what to do in these cases. However, it is sometimes not possible to easily access these mental therapy services. I want to share with you some basic tips to help dissipate the idea in a person who has suicidal tendencies. If it is a close friend it will be much easier, there is confidence to help a better approach. Otherwise this approach will be the first step to achieve, that this person is trusting you.

Try to establish a relaxed and close conversation, with warmth and affection for that person.

Treat him with respect, listen with interest to what this person tells you and above all believes in what he manifests to you, it is vital for that person to feel accompanied in his problem situation.
When it is the case allows this person with suicidal ideas to express themselves through words, laughter, crying let it be, this will help to discharge negative emotions.

Ask indirectly and tactfully about the suicidal idea: this would allow you to discover if the intention is strong or weak, depending on the level of planning of the suicide act by that person. (The Why, The When, The Where, The Why)
Inquire whether in the family, there have been people who have committed suicide. This is critical, because it further accentuates the intention to go ahead with the suicidal idea.

Try to help that person to find a kind of logical and tangible solution to the problematic situation of his life..

Knowing important details of the life of that person, highlights the positive aspects. Somehow find a kind of motivation to help him much more.
When this is the case, let this person with suicidal ideas express himself either through words, laughter, or crying. Let it be, this will help you to download negative emotions.

In the end are tips approached from the logical point of view, that a person who only needs to develop empathy, that is put  yourself in the shoes of that person and kindly help him.

I do not know a person, yes a human being who decides by his own hand to take his life is courageous before death or cowardly before life, It is not really us who are alive who should judge that decision.
The current way of seeing the world has changed, the younger ones face it with a different vision compared to other generations. The issue of death has ceased to be taboo and has become the day-to-day network.

They are people who lost the motivation for life, to go ahead with their daily routines. They lost value and meaning for life, the latter are fundamental to continue. It is never too late to try to reverse these situations. Cheer up !!!

If you know someone with depression, with problems at home or other major problems. Do not leave it alone, be brave and make a difference, put these tips into practice. You can help save a life. 
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Elderly commit suicide more than adolescents and are more effective in their attempts

Elderly commit suicide more than adolescents and are more effective in their attempts

The most prone to suicide are men, with 90% of cases.

At 75, Don Otilio thought that his role in this world was over, rather than being useful to his five children, he felt a burden: "I'm a burden of ailments," he told his daughter. One day he walked helping himself from his walker to the stairs of his house, closed his eyes and took only one step ... the last.
The walker at the side of the stairs was the first sign that it had not been an accident. The confirmation came later with the letter containing the last will of Otilio: "Let no one know that I took my life. Let no one know that I am a coward and that God forgives me. "

In Mexico, 954 people over 60 years of age committed suicide in 2013 - the last year of information from the National Institute of Statistics and Geography (INEGI) - a figure that contrasts with the 454 who did it in 2006, that is, an increase of more Of the double.
The data does not raise any alarm because in simple numbers, young people (between 15 and 29 years) are still the population with the highest number of suicides: two thousand 403, in 2013. However, if the population in the Different age ranges (ie suicide per 100,000 inhabitants), the elderly take their lives more frequently (rate 9.2) than young people (8.9).

In addition, suicide in the elderly has an even larger black figure than among adolescents, since, as in the case of Otilio, they are more frequently recorded as accidents, says the president of the Mexican Geronto-Geriatrics Society, Alejandro Uribe Hernández: "Suicide tends to be something that gives the family a shame, so they want it to be settled as an accident," he says.

Among the most recurrent techniques used by the elders to kill themselves are hanging and falling from somewhere high, because they are aware of their vulnerability.

In addition, the elderly are more effective in their suicide attempts than adolescents, notes the American Suicidal Association: "While teens are successful, one in 100 to 200 trials. The old man accomplishes his task one in four, "he says. This may be, in part, that young people resort to suicidal acts in impulsive moments, which reduces their effectiveness, while the older adult does after a long period of reflection , explains Uribe.

Depression in the elderly
Abandonment, lack of economic resources, as well as serious diseases such as cancer, all linked or as triggers of depression, are the main reasons why almost two out of every 10 suicides in Mexico are committed by a person of the third age.

Uribe estimates that two-thirds of older adults suffer from some degree of depression: "Aging depressives: social status is lost, in the case of men, they go from being providers to not feeling useful," explains the specialist.

Men are the most prone to suicide, with 90% of cases , as women tend to have larger support networks (family, friends and community), which help reduce depression.

However, the growing number of women who did not have children and who for other reasons end up alone in their final years of life must be monitored, says Héctor Hernández Bringas, author of the study on "Suicide in Mexico."

"With the decline in fertility that began in the 1960s, a growing number of women with few or no children are entering old age, thereby reducing their potential support networks and perhaps in the near future that might Increase female suicide rates. "

Fernando Quintanar, a psychologist specializing in old age issues, besides seeing a silent increase in the number of suicides in the third age, describes the phenomenon as a trait of social decomposition, where support networks begin to collapse and the mobility of religious groups Causes changes of spirituality, linked to the sense of belonging.

On the subject, Sergio Valdés y Rojas, director of geriatric care at the National Institute for Older Persons (INAPAM), agrees that suicide in the elderly is due to depression and lack of support networks.

The elderly population in the country, currently 10 million , will double by 2030; However, there is no infrastructure or human resources for proper care, says Uribe.

"The problem that the old people live today is already serious. It is a tic-tac that in 2030 will explode us if it is not reacted already ".

How they live
27.4% are not entitled to any instance of health , including Popular Insurance.
37.4% of those who work are in the informal sector.
20.7% have some disability (of these, 70% has to do with difficulty walking or moving).
26% can not read or write.

40% are single (single, widowed or divorced).
Source: INEGI and SSA data processed by the National Institute of Geriatrics.

Understanding Bullying and Way Out

Understanding Bullying and Way Out

Bullying is a psychological, verbal or physical maltreatment produced among students at the school level, which is usually produced in the classroom as well as through the Internet and social networks (cyberbullying) and is maintained over time. The bully often requires the silence, indifference or collaboration of other children in the classroom and is considered an extreme type of school violence.

Initially, school bullying was studied by psychologist Dan Olweus in Norway following the suicide of three children in 1982. Since then it has become a topic of interest and is being extensively studied, with several prevention programs being developed. In operation in several European countries.

Emotional or physical abuse is usually directed towards what is perceived as less powerful, either because in fact there is inequality between victim and aggressor or because the latter acts in a group, which makes him superior psychologically or physically. The desire to inflict harm by the aggressor becomes obsessive and feeds on the pleasure he experiences by hurting someone vulnerable. The stalker, in addition, does not usually experience guilt and behaves aggressively with the victim in a repetitive manner.

Types of bullying
In this section, we will focus on the different types of bullying in order to deepen their understanding. The most common modalities in which bullying is presented, such as any type of abuse, are the following:

Physical: abuse that has physical aggression as the main component (eg kicks, pinching, punching, pushing, tripping ...)
Verbal: usually based on insults or nicknames (motes) made generally in public and emphasizing the incapacities, insecurities or disabilities of the victim.

Psychological: this aspect is part of all forms of abuse, and is aimed at undermining the self-esteem of the victim and make their fears and insecurity grow.

Social: it is oriented to foment the exclusion of the victim with respect to the group, taking part of this action to other individuals to promote the isolation.

Cyberbullying: the use of technologies such as the internet and social networks to annoy, threaten, humiliate or harass the victim.
In addition to these variations mentioned so far, several classifications of types of bullying have been developed, but in the following lines we will focus on the one presented by teachers Piñuel and Zabala and Oñate:

Social Blockade: actions by the aggressor that seek to socially block the victim producing social isolation and marginalization. This is achieved through the imposition of prohibitions such as talking or communicating with other members of the group, or playing, both directed at the victim, and peers (so that they stop relating to the excluded child). The consequence is often a bankruptcy of the child's social support network. It is very difficult to combat because it leaves no trace and sometimes the victim can not identify it clearly.

Harassment: it has as characteristics a series of manifestations of contempt, mockery, disrespect, cruelty and disregard for the dignity of the victim.

Social Manipulation: tries to distort the social image of the child so that the rest of the group is against him, using everything he does or says to charge against him and present him very negatively to others. This causes other partners to join the aggression of the victim or create the victim deserving of it.
Coercion: it is about subjecting the child's will so that they can exercise a mastery that makes the group perceive the aggressor as powerful. Abuse or molestation of a sexual nature silenced for fear of reprisal may be included in this section.

Social Exclusion: the victim is treated as if he did not exist, or is prevented from participating in games or his expression, getting him isolated from the rest of the peer group.

Intimidation: seeks by definition to induce fear in the victim, consuming it emotionally and intimidating it by intimidating action, physical harassment and even harassment on leaving the school.
Aggressions and threats to integrity: include extortion or threatening the physical or physical integrity of the child or his or her family with the intent to amilate it.

The main active subjects within a scenario of bullying or bullying are the aggressor, the victim and the observers (classmates). Below we will briefly describe each one of them:

It is a profile that presents low self-esteem and insecurity, and can be recognized as a shy, quiet, cautious and sensitive child. Sometimes there may be some level of paternal overprotection to these children that can result in dependence and attachment to the home.

Alarm symptoms that may let us know that we are facing a bullying child may be absent from class attendance with a recurrence greater than usual, difficulty in maintaining concentration, isolation from the group, suicidal thoughts or suicide attempts , Fear of being alone, physical symptoms of anxiety (palpitations, dizziness, headaches, for example), psychological and emotional symptoms (nervousness, pessimism, tension, etc.), escape or avoidance behavior, Feelings of guilt and symptoms of depression (e.g, irritability, apathy, or insomnia).

The stalker usually presents some kind of psychopathology, although it is true that this is not a necessary condition. He often lacks empathy and often has some sort of cognitive distortion that could make him interpret his relationship with equals as a conflict or aggression toward himself. He does not usually feel guilty and is under anger control, showing normal self-esteem and a certain level of self-sufficiency.

Sometimes these stalkers are older than their classmates (for example, for having repeated course), and are often not well integrated into school. They can come from unstructured families with little paternal contact and homes in which a component of domestic violence is present.

They present verbal and physical aggressiveness, impulsivity, and exert an abuse of power and psychological that is reflected in a body language and gesture of rejection. This behavior can sometimes lead them to learn a model of relationship with others that seeks approval and recognition through the exclusion and contempt of others.

School bullying often produces a social contagion that inhibits aid to the victim or even causes certain group members to react by contributing to such harassment. In this sense, we can classify viewers according to their degree of involvement in harassment, as follows:

Accomplices: they are usually friends of the aggressor or followers of the same and provide direct assistance to abuse (such as, for example, blocking the escape of the victim for the aggressor to achieve it)

Reinforcers: through mockery, laughter or approving comments, encourage and encourage the continued harassment of the victim, even though they do not contribute to it physically.
Observers: the behavior to the situation of abuse to the victim is silence.

Defenders: are those spectators who show their support to the victim either at the time of the aggression or later.
In addition, sometimes what can be known as the mechanism of the scapegoat, which tries to destroy that member of the group that resists the actions of the majority or is different from the rest.

Short-term and long-term consequences
Bullying, which as we say can be covered within psychological abuse, has serious consequences for those who participate in it and its victims. All the people involved will suffer short- and long-term consequences, from the victim to the aggressor, passing by the spectators.

For the child who suffers from bullying, there is a serious deterioration of self-esteem, a development of emotional problems such as depression and anxiety, and passive attitudes in general. One of the clearest consequences in many cases may be the decline in academic performance and sometimes dropping out of school, as a result of a lack of interest in studies as a result of the abuse situation. In extreme cases, the child may develop suicidal thoughts and even suicide attempts.

Victims may be at increased risk of developing post-traumatic stress disorder, antisocial personality disorder, depression, and other anxiety disorders in adulthood. These emotional sequels make it one of the problems in childhood that have a more long-term effect, maintaining its negative influence on the life and mental health of the victims beyond a decade after bullying.

Attackers also present sequels due to their violent and intimidating behavior in their social relationships, which can lead to the development of criminal behavior. Their difficulty in tolerating frustration complicates the generation of new, more positive relationships for these subjects. They end up behaving coercively with others, through power, threat and violence, as it is the only kind of relationship they know.

As for the spectators, the consequences of witnessing the harassment of the victim are the development of a certain level of desensitization towards violence that makes them more tolerant in the future and less able to act in favor of the child Who suffers from bullying, or from other victims with whom he may already be in adulthood.

How to deal with bullying
As we have shown in the previous lines, bullying is an extremely complex issue that requires a simultaneous intervention on various agents for its positive attainment. These agents can be individual, family and social.

With regard to prevention, it is considered that parental education in democratic (non-authoritarian) values ​​could help to avoid this situation. It also raises the need to make the participants aware that this is a situation that should be denounced not only by the victim.

It is essential that parents of victims of bullying, communicate with their children and listen to them, keeping calm at all times. It is very common for parents to be the last to learn about the situation their child is living in, so be aware of sudden changes in their behavior, such as irritability, sadness, fear of going to school, nightmares, Loss of appetite, headaches or stomachaches, and anything that goes out of the ordinary in each child. In addition, if the child appeared at any time with a wound, a scratch or the deterioration of their school material, we should consider it as a possible alarm.

Within the role of parents in the resolution of bullying, it would be important to reinforce the child's self-esteem and to point out that he should not feel guilty because he is not at fault for what is happening to him. It would be good to foster the generation of new social relationships in the child's life, in or out of school. The child should be advised not to respond to the attacks and if he has evidence or messages (in case of cyber bullying), he should keep them as much as possible.

The involvement of the school's teaching staff is fundamental for solving the school bullying problem. Sometimes it can be difficult to identify the problem, especially because sometimes it does not happen in front of the teachers. That is why it is important, as a preventive measure, to monitor environments where it usually happens, such as patios and restrooms. It is important to open channels of communication with the students, so that through trust they can help the children to open up and tell what is happening. At no time should we minimize the complaints or references to bullying, or point out that they are "children's things".

It is necessary to equip students with education in values ​​and rights, fostering empathy and solidarity, identifying possible stereotypes and making them front, taking into account that the students will see the behavior of the teaching staff as an example to follow. The teacher must be assertive in the face of a bullying situation, informing the situation to the management of the center, and actively monitoring the possible scenarios of harassment, in order to avoid possible reprisals by the aggressor. Teachers should act as quickly as possible, with individual interventions aimed at the agents of the problem but not acting as mediators, since mediation is often not effective in situations of power imbalance such as these and may increase intimidation towards victim.

Through group interventions, teachers must work with the whole class so that this situation is rejected by all and empathize with the victim. Also, it is important not to force the child to tell what happened to different people, allowing him to choose who he wants to trust.

Bullying witnesses should be informed that it is normal for them to be afraid of bullying and that if they do not feel able to stop it on their own, it is best to seek the help of an adult by pointing out that this is not Sneak if you do not help a child who needs it and who does not deserve to be treated that way.

With regard to the aggressor, it must be encouraged that this is raised because it needs to disturb or hurt another child to feel good. It is crucial to work on the development of empathy, making him think about how the other child feels when he harasses him. Work on emotions and anger management is important, teaching the child more adaptive alternative responses.

Further article: Tackling bullying

It is crucial to assure the victim that the situation he is living is inherently unjust. It is normal for you to feel guilty, sad, embarrassed, and have feelings of terror and fear. The child must be assured that he must not keep the aggression in secret and that he must pass it on to an adult who generates confidence and also the teaching staff of the school. Before and during the resolution of the problem, it is important that the victim be accompanied at all times and avoid going to problematic places where there is more possibility of the aggression. In addition, it is essential to support the child in terms of appropriate emotional expression and coping with the situation, preventing it from responding to violence with aggression.

Bibliography and reference pages