Tuesday, 26 September 2017

Frustration

The root cause of frustration is lost of vision. When you loose your vision in life, the next thing knocking at your door frustration. And frustration at its prime stage could give birth to suicidal.

IDENTITY CRISIS

IDENTITY CRISIS

IDENTITY CRISIS

It has been established that one of the deepest craving of the human spirit is to attain a sense of significance and relevance. This search for relevance in life culminates into the ultimate pursuit of humanity. Conscious or unconscious, admitted or not, this internal passion is what motivates and drives every human being, either directly or indirectly. It directs decisions, controls behavior, and dictates responses to the environment (Dr Myles Munroe).

This need for substantive recognition is and will continue to be the main causal agent of great tragedies as magnified by the heightened increase in suicidal cases as well as attempted suicides which owe their manifestation to this compelling unrecognized and dissatisfied need. The confessions of serial killers linking their criminal antisocial behavior to their need to feel important as only served to confirm the truth contained above.

Unfortunately, many people in the course of searching for relevance misplace their God given persona with the approval and validation earned through living the dream of another. The sequential reaction of this is really not hard to figure out – frustration, disappointment, bitterness, self-depreciation, suicidal tendencies and depression.

I dare say that Identity crisis is one of the major world challenges today and equally one of the propelling factors of suicidal.

When you lose sight of who you are or who you are meant to be, it is only natural that you struggle without result. Why? Because you sow in a field that isn't yours. Peradventure you manage some form of success, dissatisfaction and doubt is sure to trudge your every step. Imagine a world where everyone decides to be loyal to their path and their journey, and watch how suicidal rates and maliciousness in our communities crash.

SOLUTIONS TO IDENTITY CRISIS

Discover yourself and respect that person you discover. We are all created as unique beings to reflect the diversity of our ingenious and unfathomable creator. If that be the case why should you, a supposedly unique creation of a glory so diverse harbor desires to be like another unique creation? It is impossible my friend. There is only one place for your kind of uniqueness and my own kind of uniqueness. Try as you may, you can never be like another person. God wants you to rejoice and glory in the uniqueness he has created you in. that is why it is important you discover that uniqueness so that you can appropriately appreciate yourself. The alternative to this is quite difficult, that is you constantly struggling to be someone you are not, living up to the expectations of someone you are not and probably will never be. Struggle and conflicts will usually be your companion if you go this route. God certainly doesn't want that kind of life for us.

You may love to read: A WORLD WITHOUT YOU

Know your worth. Often times we spend time making mountains of our weaknesses while ignoring our strengths. It is easy to judge your entire life worth on one moment of indiscretion. You are worth more than any negative accident that you have allowed to shape your life. One eye opening event that redefined the current heightened view of my worth was some years ago when I wrote a certain article and on completion, I read through, I despise and considered boring the article. Lacking the confidence to give it to anyone I dropped it off someplace. Sometimes later I was opportune to go through the note of a respected friend and found my despised articled copied word for word and effectively translated into a great message. To be sure, I went to where I had previously dropped my 'despised' article and sure enough it was my article this person had found and used.  That which I despised was what someone else was using to bless the lives of people. Someone saw my writing for what it really worth and put it to good use. Know your worth, and you will always be happy being yourself.

Self-development. Every person on earth can be likened to unrefined gold. But as long as it remains in its unrefined form it can't be called gold, rather a natural resource. Though it possesses the potential of gold, it can't be valued nor priced as gold. The person you are admiring now, has developed their self to be that person you now admire.

Self-development is not automatic. It requires a whole lot of sacrifice and commitment. It doesn't answer to prayers; therefore it cannot be spiritually passed. Strive to develop yourself with a definite focus on becoming the best of yourself, not another person's.

You may also read: Someone still loves you!

Place a high Value on yourself. The worth you place on yourself often time determines how see yourself and how others will inadvertently see you. Identity crisis bows to an improved self-esteem every time. Never compare yourself to anyone. Never inconvenience yourself to impress others. If people must be impressed by you let it be from you being effortlessly yourself.
In this world fraught with suffering and depression, we need to be challenged to see the originality in ourselves and when that is achieved; our communities will be more productive physically, spiritually and emotionally.

If you find this article helpful, please share with someone. We would also appreciate your comments, observation and questions.

Reach us on notosuicidalthoughts@gmail.com
Or like us on Facebook @ www.Facebook.com/Notosuicidalthoughts

Tuesday, 12 September 2017

THE EFFECTS OF CHILD ABUSE

THE EFFECTS OF CHILD ABUSE
THE EFFECTS OF CHILD ABUSE
I got this on my email sometimes last month from one of my blog readers, and I decided to publish it to teach others most especially parents who  in any  way abuse or maltreat their children lessons on how long their bad treatments of this little ones can damage their lives.
Children are God's heritage that deserve taking proper care of less they slip out of your hand into suicidal, arm robbery, cultism, and so on.
Every child have a right to be listened to, appreciated, and encouraged. When they don't have these, we injure their emotions, and help scattered their lives.
How will a mother threat his own child this way. I think government at every level needs to place more emphasis on child abuse if we are going to have healthy leaders to lead the next generation.
Hear his ordeal:
I don't even know what to say. Please help.
I'm a 17 year old living in Fiji. I'm in Year 13 due to skipping a year. My biological brother is 20, he lives with me along with my biological parents.
My family always had problems. My biological mother seems mentally ill and incredibly sadistic. She used to do weird stuff to me like make me eat a lot of chillies, lock me out of the house after drenching me in water so that I shiver for the whole night in the cold and sometimes strip me naked and lock me out of the house for petty things like waking up late, for not doing the dishes spotlessly, for laughing/playing too loudly or for just staying silent for long periods of time (which I often did). This was a decade ago. At one point in  my seventh year,  she stole a lot of money from my dad and pinned the blame on me, until dad decided to cast me to the streets. Days later,  I don't know how but I guess conscience hit her and she confessed the truth to dad. However, a massive trust rift got created.
Fast forwarding to 2017, family problems have stayed for around 9 years now and divorce is certain. I tell my dad that I don't want a share of his inheritance and I want him to go overseas where his girlfriend is, so that they could work out and live happily. He leaves im March leaving me and my brother in control of the house. The mother also lives in the same house but cooks for herself only etc. So basically we had to shop for our own food, cook, wash, etc separately.
A month after dad's departure, my brother betrays dad and tells his secrets to my biological mother. They somehow become one team and eat amongst themselves, leaving me to come home one day all isolated and ridiculed for being a loner. I ignore them without fighting and without a word. I kind of struggle to make ends meet on food supplies, education and mental health. I'm generally considered "a straight A student" but as my mental health deteriorated, so did my grades.
One day my mother stole my dad's car keys silently and they pinned the blame on me for being irresponsible. I know they stole it because I had gone for only a minute and the keys went missing. Now I had a bad reputation with dad, who was overseas.
Their menacing laughter and constant verbal abuse without reason slowly drove me into someone who went to school like a robot and came back, never talking to anyone and secluded from everyone. I have something called social chameleon status meaning I turn into different personalities to interact with different people, thus I had a hard time "finding myself" and introducing myself to people as.. me without the mask of different amiable personalities.
My brother and mother often fought amongst themselves too. My mother is not very literate, she is a bigot and is easily offended. My brother possibly has bipolar disorder. He acts too happy at times and when he gets angry, he takes an iron rod and starts smashing everything around the house, some shards of the collateral damages even hit me but I didn't react.
My projects for Year 13 were due and my mother ruined my laptop to deter me. I borrowed a friend's laptop to do my work and she almost smashed it, had I not caught it in time, that would have been damaged too. Then she proceeded to physically assault me. I walked out and went to the police.
The police told me that I should stay with the mother and if I have a problem then I should move out AS A 17 YEAR OLD. I accepted to move out and wandered about until a woman from a local church allowed me to live with her and her two sons of my age. I had fun at their house while I lived there,  until August 3. My dad arrived and I told him I wanted to go back to my own house but I don't want those two there as they fight and damage property.
He tells me to return. I do so only to find out that he's been brainwashed and these three have become a SEEMINGLY happy family. Dad wants me to "fit in" and be "part of the family" while being fully aware that these people almost killed me on multiple occasions and caused me to go through so many mental traumas. He also doesn't know that the brother and mother are are nice to dad only because of the property sharing.
So basically now I'm living with betrayers. Everyone here rebukes me for weird reasons. I keep getting flashes of how she used to ill treat me and the image of her sadistic, sinister smile never fades from my mind.
Day by day I wish I could cry my heart out, but "crying is only for girls". I wish I had someone to tell my problems to, but I have nobody. Nowadays, I carry a melancholic air around me wherever I go. My ability to even talk with people is fleeting and words just don't come out. I just stare at people, with almost teary eyes hoping someone would just give me a painless death. I'm sick of being alone amd ridiculed for doing the right thing and defending my own father's honor. Yet he also left my side and joined the crowd that always mocks me. I'm never enough, and the angry brother is always perfect, even when he physically assaults my mother... he is perfect, and I, the one who never even screams am nothing.. this is always the case.  Even before emailing to you I was looking for ways to kill myself. I feel guilty involving you because if I do actually man up and rid myself of this misery, you'd probably feel guilty that you couldn't save me. I have sleepless nights and all I can think of is suicide to end this misery. If only.. someone could end me, I would be forever grateful.
P.S If I ever don't reply for 10 days straight, please know that I'm sorry for wasting your time, that I love you whoever you may be and that I've finally freed myself of this eternal misery and am in eternal slumber.
After getting this email, I immediately connect with him to help him see reasons to forgive his family and chose to live. And for now, he had stopped replying my emails, but I'm praying for him for a change of mind and encounter with Jesus who's the only true comforter.
I'll not be a judge of anyone, but I think the young boy was not fairly treated. And it's the role of the global communities to say no to such. Do not hesitate to report any abuse around you to the human right organization to help the person involved.
Are you also passing through any tough time? Are you been ill-treated? Please don't kill yourself. Share the burden with us, we want to be a burden sharer with you. We want to pray for you and encourage you.
Contact us on notosuicidalthoughts@gmail.com  or like our Facebook page on www.Facebook.com//Notosuicidalthoughts.
We love you!

Monday, 11 September 2017

A WORLD WITHOUT YOU!

A WORLD WITHOUT YOU!

Have you ever imagined what a world without you would look like?  Do you view yourself as a worthless and useless garbage? Oh no! The world without you would mean void, bored and undesirable place to live in. Why? Because your presence is adding spices to your world and the people around you some way, somehow.

I started a campus ministry among the students when I was still in year one. And all along, it seems nothing was happening. It seems the efforts is futile and not been appreciated. At a point, disappointment and discouragement set in. I became frustrated and wanted to quit- of course not quit living as many do in the  face of discouragement, but to quit the assignment. Until one day God's spirit ministered to me that if I stop doing what I'm doing today, tomorrow, I'll see someone else doing the same thing (divine replacement). And I said God forbid.

With that encouragement, I decided not to quit. I put my best into the assignment until I graduated and new sets of leadership was inaugurated. And I continue providing leadership, mentoring and supports for the ministry from year to year.

But something that struck my heart happened last year when my friend from Cameroon and I went for a two week mission work on that campus. It happened that as I was counseling a lady, a brother passing by stopped to greet me. I couldn't recognize him again,  so I pleaded with him to introduce himself. And with joy from a transformed heart he said, I'm one of the guys you always preach to and counsel those days. He further went on to say, thank God for your life and the investment of those years.

When I heard this, I became humble, and then I could now understand why the Holy Spirit told me that if I stop doing what I'm doing today, He'll raise someone to fill the vacuum.

Imagine what could have become of that young guy if he had not met me? Maybe a hooligan, cultist, or somehow a nuisance to the community

This is a generation whereby nothing is useless. Even the world assumed useless in those days are no longer useless, how much more a loaded being like you.

Do you know even the feces of animals that was then considered a waste material is now a most desirable organic fertilizer and without them, organic farmers might probably not get  the best result they are now getting.

It's you that doesn't know how much you worth. Your smile at someone in agony alone might change the whole things for that person. And now imagine if you weren't there to give such a smile at such a demanding time. It would mean someone living  in bitterness and pain because of your absence.

I will never forget a letter I received from one of my Senior brothers when I was in secondary school encouraging me to put the best into my education. Sincerely yours, that letter elated the passion for excellence in me, and it makes me look important. But what if my brother wasn't there to encourage me through his letter? What could have become of my education then and thereafter?

We live in an inter -related world where someone's happiness is either directly or indirectly connected to yours. And your absence  at times may mean so much to them.

What do you think would have become of David and his men in their recovery mission against the Amalekites that invaded Ziklag and captured the women and children without that abandoned young man considered useless  by his master because he was sick? Though he was abandoned by his master because of his sickness, yet he became instrumental to David and his men in locating their enemies.(1 Samuel 30;10-20)

A world without you to some people would mean never to fulfill their dreams. To someone else, it could mean never getting out of the wilderness of decision. While to another person, it could mean committing suicide.

That shows how unique and important you're to your world.

A world without you, an incomplete world. While a world with you makes a better place to live in.

I hope this article has helped you see how special and important you're to your world.

If this article is helpful to you, please write us back, and also share with your friends.

Send us your comments, request or questions on notosuicidal@gmail.com. You can also like our Facebook page @
https://www.facebook.com/Notosuicidethoughts/