Tuesday, 3 October 2017

CHILD ABUSE

CHILD ABUSE

what  is child abuse? It simply is the misuse or perversion of children. It occurs when children are handed unjustly or corruptly by adults in society either verbally, physically or emotionally. Child abuse takes different forms, in different cultures under different situations due to a variety of beliefs and practices. Child abuse can happen  in homes, schools, playgrounds, working places and even in churches.

Child abuse in Home
The home  is the most common place of child abuse in most cases. Many parents have the attitude, "What does a child know? He or she I'd just a baby'.  In some homes, children are given the last consideration in almost everything. Adults often view children in an inferior way, thinking that with a small physical status they do not require the basic necessities of life. Often they are also considered economic liabilities.
Areas of child abuse in the home include the following:

1. Feeding: in some homes, children are hardly fed nourishing food. In some instances, it's the remains or crumbs that are pushed to the children to eat. Hardly would parents give the best piece of meat to their children. Some children are even left to search for food in order to feed themselves (e.g. Moslem children receiving training under a malam). Sometimes food that an adult wouldn't eat himself  is passed to children to consume because the adult does not like it or does not know what kind of food it is, thus turning children into a sort of an item for specimen.

2. Sleeping: in many homes, children rarely have separate rooms and beds. Sometimes this is due to poverty, but often it can be attributed to indifference on the part of the parents concerned.
Poor and inadequate bedding is common in many homes. To worsen the problem, children are often deprived their beds, if visitor comes to stay overnight.

3. Clothing: some children may go naked, even though their parents are well clothed. Again, such parents do not feel that their children need adequate clothing.

4. Extreme discipline. Children are cruelly treated as if they are not human beings. Parents, in some cases, deny their children food, clothing, and at times exile from their homes in the name of discipline.

5. Lack of discipline. Conversely, some parents leave their children completely undisciplined and thus lead them into a loose and immoral life. That is child abuse too.

Child Abuse  in Society
Society, as a whole, seems to view children as third class citizens and  not as human beings with equal rights with adult.

It is child abuse when parents pass on or abandon their responsibility to raise their own children, expecting caretakers to do so. If the mothers don't care enough to make sacrifices for their children, how can a complete stranger be counted to do so? The irresponsibility of  some families has led their children to the unhappiness and even untimely death.

Often, adults impose cultural standards on children unfairly and indiscriminately. Some teenagers are forced to marry prematurely which hinders their personal development. Some evil parents or wicked society people kidnap and sell children for ill- gotten wealth. That is very sad indeed!

Often, the society exposes the children to immoral and destructive influences on TV, radio and the like. Calling children with all kinds of nicknames brings low self-image, distress and unhappiness in the lives of children.

Sexual Abuse
Incest or rape is one of the worst forms of child abuse. Such a bitter experience in children has dreadful long-term effects. Hence, Church and state should enacts laws to protect children from sexual abuse.

Effects of child abuse
Child abuse can have a devastating effect on children. Children can become retarded socially, intellectually, emotionally, and even physically due to parental irresponsibility.

Lack of parental love can result in low self esteem and personality disorders. Children become passive and indifferent in life, filled with fear, hatred, insecurity, tension, guilt, depression, anxiety, an excessive need for love, powerful feeling of revenge, and so on.
Thus, such children grow up to become unwanted elements of society. The selfishness of parents can finally lead to death of many children. This can happen through abortion, physical torture and starvation.

Together we can say no to child abuse in our society, and give the children every right to live and enjoy life.

To report any form of abuse around you, seek for counseling and encouragement, contact us on notosuicidalthoughts@gmail.com 

Kehinde Pius O
Gospel minister, Life coach, blogger and anti suicidal advocate

Sunday, 1 October 2017

I'M NOT CRAZY, I'M DEPRESSED!

I'M NOT CRAZY, I'M DEPRESSED

What is happening to me?
How am I feeling?
I don't even know what is wrong with me!
I am just angry at myself!
I feel like just being alone!
I feel like just ending it!

Have u ever felt this way or are u feeling this right now? It may be a sign of DEPRESSION!

Depression is a disorder that is evidenced by loss of interest in things of passion, low self esteem and excessive sadness.

As common as depression is, it occurs in different levels and categories. Life is full of different adverse events which may lead to depression, such occurrence could be disappointment, stress, loss, etc. The feeling of depression may persists for months and return at significant times when the occurrence comes to remembrance.

SIGNS OF DEPRESSION

The following are the signs of knowing when one is depressed:

1. Loss of pleasure in things of passion: When things you love doing most suddenly becomes irritating and boring to you so much that you can't really fix it, it may be a symptom of depression.

2. RESTLESSNESS: This occur when you feel weak and cannot rest, when you feel exhausted and cannot sleep or waking up in-between sleep.

3. REDUNDANCY: When a lot of work is lying undone and you feel no enthusiasm to get them done, when you are slow in activities and you sit to watch time fly away without achieving something in particular.

4. EXTREME SADNESS: Though sadness is one of the common human natural emotional downness but when it becomes extreme, often and most time, feels difficult to explain, it may be a sign of suffering from depression.

5. LACK OF CONCENTRATION: This is when you get easily distracted and unconsciously remembering a past occurrence and recurring unpleasant thoughts, which often lead to improper thinking.

CAUSES OF  DEPRESSION

Depression are mostly caused by the following :
* Bereavement
* Financial difficulties
* Loneliness
* Hereditary
* Stress
* Conflicts
* Lack of success
* Disability, etc

HOW TO OVERCOME DEPRESSION

1. Focus more on your success than your failures

2. When negative thinking start seeking a place to sit in your heart, reject it and invite positive thinking or involve yourself in what you love doing most.

3. Avoid being alone, sit  among families and loved ones who make you forget your pains.

4. See yourself as being worthy and hopeful, having a great future.

5. If a task seems too difficult, do not panic or put yourself under pressure. Break it down into simpler task and start again, more slowly.

6. Rather than dwelling on problems, seek solution, list some possible solutions to the problem and choose the solution that best solves the problem.

7. See every challenge as opportunities that will make you more stronger. You need to look critically into every challenge and see how you can turn it to opportunity.

8. Keep yourself busy doing what you love to do most and invite high self esteem. Idle hand they said is the devils workshop. So stay away from idleness.

9. Set goals for daily useful activities and ensure you stick to achieving them as much as possible. Your daily goals will keep you busy and save you of space for depression in your heart.

By Oladejo Rebecca

If you have been blessed by this article, feel free to share with someone.

If you have any problem with depression or you have any question or comments, please contact us on notosuicidalthoughts@gmail.com.

INTIMIDATION

INTIMIDATION

Intimidation is a means to frighten, coerce, to terrify, to threaten, and to scare someone. Imagine the thinking and feeling of the Israelites soldiers before Goliaths, intimidation is a thing of the heart, thought, and imagination. It is fear and wrong thoughts expressed through feelings, emotions, attitude, etc.

The purpose of intimidation is to frighten you to surrender and submission, thereby forsaking your confidence and chicken out of the race of destiny. It is intended to rub you of your portion.

Intimidation is seeing yourself wrongly. Intimidation set in when you begin to have a wrong opinion about yourself and your ability.
Intimidation makes you think and feel small, worthless.

Sources of intimidation

1. Success. Your sophisticated, intellectual capabilities and intelligence can make some insecure people around you feel intimidated and uncomfortable.
Social status. Your neat and clean disposition, elegant and corporate taste can be interpret by some as pride.

2. Academic success. Your quest for academic excellence and exploration of potential deposited in you through education can be intimidating to the mediocre around you.

A proper thinking person must not be intimidated with academic success of others but rather be challenged and motivated.

3. Flaunted Integrity.  Integrity can be flaunted, whenever you begin to behave and talk with an holier than thou attitude, proving that you are the only person that has integrity, it never helps the weak, it only intimidate them.

4. Presumed superiority. Erroneous thinking or over evaluating others and their achievement. Such thought may influence you to feel inferior and humiliated.

Other article you may love to read: Understanding bullying

5. Refusal to Appreciate Yourself. If you fail to locate, develop and appreciate your talent, you may feel intimidated when in company of others maximizing theirs.

6. Ignorance of Your Worthiness. Ignorance is the mother of fear. Ignorance of your worthiness may be the source of your intimidation. Cultivate self confidence, belief your dream is obtainable.

Don't allow other peoples passion for their dream to intimidate you. Instead of being uncomfortable with their great dreams , appreciate them, so that you too can be blessed.

It is better to associate with dreamers than with the dreamless.
Failure to support other peoples dreams is a minus to the realization of your own dream.

7. Obsolete Self Concept. Some are still clinging to an out mode self perception. Negative comments about them from childhood is still in their mind when they are no longer what the speakers said they are.

Other article you may love to read: Identity Crisis

Effects of intimidation

Intimidation both have spiritual, physical and psychological effects. It's used in warfare to weaken the opponent. Never allow intimidation in any form.

Effects
1. Inferiority complex
2. Fear
3. Feeling inadequate.
4. Withdrawal and isolation.
5. Self doubt.
6. Confusion and nervousness.
7. Feeling insecurity.
8. Excessive humility.
9. Inhibition

How To Overcome Intimidation

1. Identity the Source. Knowing the source will help you assess and evaluate the intimidation. You can determine how it's affecting you, its influence on your emotion, your personality, fulfilment and joy.
Think over these questions:
a. Why are you intimidated?
b. What is intimidating you?
c. Who is intimidating you?
d. What can you do about it?
e. Why is he able to intimidate you?
How is he/she doing it?
Knowing what intimidate you and why, will help you overcome it.

Other article you may love to read: Tacking bullying

2. Improve Yourself. We all are hunters on earth. What we are hunting may differ , but certainly everyone is hunting for something.
For you to be marketable, you need to  work on yourself spiritually, educationally, physically, and socially.

Improve your manner, spoken language, dressing, related, and attitude. Become enthusiastic. Enhance your mental capability.

3. Work on Your Talent. One of the key secret of success is identification of your talent or spiritual gift. Whatever you will be in life will be through your talent. Discover your talent, work on it, sharpen it, cultivate and nurture it.

4. Develop Your Skills. Skill is define as the "ability to do something well, especially because you have learned and practice it"- Longman Dictionary.

Every training either formal or informal is necessary  for you to become self confident. When you have all the experience that is needed to do something well, courage will occupy your heart.

5. Think Positively. Avoid rivalry mentality. Shun bitter competition. Comparison is dangerous, and harmful.

Believe that you Are good. There is one area where you are also better than others.

6. Control Your Fear. Overcome jittery and nervousness. I have learnt that achievement build confidence. Fear is a state of mind. Fear is expectation of evil. Fear is expressed worry. Fear is opposite of faith.

Everyone is prone to fear, but the mature one control it  and act bold.

7. Act Bold. Don't over analyse what intimidates you. Your evaluation is meant to help you prepare for ways and manners of overcoming the problem.

Bold people only choose to act bold. They are also prone to fear, but they chose not to fear.

8. Be your Best Always. If you don't want to be intimidated, be your best always. Never engage in any action without proper preparation.

9. Seek for Counsel. Consult your mentor  for proper counsel .

10. Have Faith in God. The most surest way to break the yoke of intimidation is through Faith in God. Surrender yourself to God. Fill your heart with His word. Let Him be your only fear.

If you're blessed by this article, feel free to share with someone.

And in case you have any question, or comments, or needed counseling, please contact us onnotosuicidalthoughts@gmail.com or like our Facebook page  Notosuicidalthoughts.

Stay blessed!

Kehinde Pius O